Philosophical Findings

September 9, 2010

I really don’t have the time right now to be sitting her and writing (since I should be studying for a text I have in an hour), but I am so full of thought right now and need to share it with someone.  I just got out of my Introduction to the Foundations of Music Education class.  This class is all about how to teach and what to observe while you teach that can make you a better teacher.  Today we shared our “credos.”  Our credos are like creeds (not necessarily religious) that contain what we believe that makes us who we are.  We typed them up and read them aloud to each other in class.  It was quite interesting because it gave me some insight to what people really believe and how they feel about themselves.  I see these people every day and some of them I have several classes with.  But just because you see someone every day does not mean that you really know them.   And I can tell you that NO ONE I go to school with really knows me.  Part of that is because I fear who I used to be and part of it is because I do not believe that is who I am today.  That sentence could not be more wrong.  Who I am today stems from who I “used” to be.  I am always me and always have been and yes, who I am can change, but that does not mean I will not be me ten years from now.

We discussed values and whether or not you should share your own in the classroom.  …this is something I really feel I need to ponder.  Of course I have my own beliefs of how people should be and act, but that does not mean that they have to be or act the way I believe they should.  They should ultimately have their own belief system that is not necessarily mine.  And I also believe that a great deal of how we perceive ourselves can have an impact on how we teach or “model.”  This was strongly pointed out to me today when my teacher shared a personal story about how a friend of his values themselves.  I was able to pick up on this and realize how a specific friend of mine had valued themselves.  Just by knowing them, their actions, and their choices pointed it all out to me and I realize that I responded to them negatively because I never noticed this before.  And in turn, by my negative response, showed me that I did not truly value myself how I should.

Today I realized how proud of myself I truly am.  Today I realized that I should not fear any part of who I was, who I am, and who I am to be.  Today I am not afraid to say I used to smoke cigarettes.  Today I am not afraid to say that I do not have specific religious beliefs.  Today I am not afraid to say that I enjoy wine.  Today I am not afraid to say that I have not prepared for a test as well as I could have.  Today I am not afraid to say that I really care about how my professors, colleagues and friends view me.  Today I am not afraid to say that I love going to school.  Today I am not afraid to say that I love my family and all they do and have done for me.  Today I am not afraid to say that I love being me.

When I first came to UMKC, I was a little nervous and intimidated for many reasons.  One thing in particular stuck out to me.  I realized that all of our concerts were held mostly in churches.  I also realized that many people I went to school with were very religious.  I honestly worried at first, in striving to be a better person, that I was supposed to be this way even though I did not believe that was how I needed to be in order to be a good person.

I could not imagine having never attended school at UMKC or pursuing being a Music Educator.  I had no idea 10 years ago that I would be here today. In fact, 10 years ago I was the farthest from being here than I could imagine.  Being here and learning from these teachers and fellow music educator friends has helped shape who I am becoming.  I am so thankful for all of them and could not imagine never meeting them.  I am a firm believer that everyone you meet or run into has some sort of impact on your life and helps shape who you are today.  I have no regrets and am thankful for each and every one of them.

Thank you.

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One Response to “Philosophical Findings”

  1. Amber Shea @Almost Vegan said

    🙂 … Just 🙂

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